D23: Duke Scaradine's Mansion

This winter, my players wanted a new game that was (1) less gonzo than last time (UVG), (2) less dark than the time before that (custom Strahd thing), and (3) more directed than my mega dungeon game.

If I can't have gonzo or dark, I want to keep things weird. So I thought I'd go weird-via-fairy-tale rather than weird-via-scifi-gonzo. And I remembered this great series of posts ... now I am running a zelda game. That's good because it lets me give the players a main quest to fall back on if they're feeling too aimless. But it's still dungeon centric. BTW I haven't played zelda.

I'm running this thing as if Arnold's old posts are a published module. Except that whenever something doesn't actually get fleshed out, I make it...

So here is DUKE SCARADINE'S MANSION, 11 pages of garden-menagerie dungeon for my Moon City GLOG game but probably drag-and-droppable anywhere you've got an eccentric noble.

When I ran it, it went like this...

The players are

• Chosen, Nature Wizard from Lavender Village, 

• Burglar specialist named Bobbit

• Cannoli, Slime Wizard from Golden Claw

• Crongle, Ninja-Priest from ???

• Trained Ray named Rat-Hamlon

• Apocraphina, Witch from The Docks

The players were convicted of some absurd crimes and sentenced to death. Duke Scaradine broke them out so that he could have them run an errand for him--pick up his new pet, an astral peacock, and deliver it to his mansion.

(Someday they'll also want to collect seven magic swords and go get a wish from the King of Dreams. But for now they're playing uber for a purple chicken.)

The players entered Duke Scaradine’s garden and took the rougher path through the brush and dungeon grass. With the help of Chosen’s “speak with plants” they learned that Duke Scaradine wears a special perfume to keep his pets from attacking him. They also made a deal with the dungeon grass. The grass would let them cross if they stole Groundskeeper Higg’s iron galoshes. They crossed the grass, encountering the basilisk (((but not realizing it was blind))), and took refuge in the groundskeeper’s shed.

In the shed, they randomly encountered Scrimshaw, a yakuza-styled enforcer devil looking to deliver a message to Duke Scaradine. They decided to get on his good side by helping and learned that Duke Scaradine owes money to the Devil Earl Brax. They also stole Higg’s iron galoshes and a bottle of the Duke’s special perfume, which they used immediately.

The party continued towards the mansion, crossing over a bridge where they were attacked by a four armed white ape. They betrayed Scrimshaw and left him to fight the ape alone.

The party crossed the rest of the garden grounds uneventfully and delivered the Astral Peacock to Duke Scaradine. The duke gave them 1g and paperwork conferring “looting and squatting rights” to a house in Crossings District.

The bird revealed it's feathers which caused Crongle’s soul to be ejected from his body. Crongle then possessed the peacock, ejecting its soul from its body, and ran into the mansion. Scaradine’s butler Alfred gave chase. Still in the peacock body, Crongle met Chester, Duke Scaradine’s cat. Chester is actually a graymalkin who wants to escape the mansion. He convinced Crongle to use the peacock’s ability to eject him from his body. Then he went and possessed Crongle’s original body.

Meanwhile the Duke asked the remaining party to save his favorite white ape from the enforcer devil. The party returned to the bridge to discover that Scrimshaw had killed the ape. But its corpse was possessed by the astral peacock. They threw the peacock-possessed-ape off the bridge, apologized to Scrimshaw, and returned to the mansion. At the mansion, Scrimshaw broke Duke Scaradine’s leg to send a message from his boss.

D23: Goblin House

 GOBLIN HOUSE

• Abandoned house in Crossings District. Crossings District replaces Gate Town as the boring mini district of Moon City. The youth gangs from the various districts all want to claim this as their turf. They all want to expand into Crossings District, the only unclaimed turf left.

• Could also serve as any random slum house in Moon City.

Hook: Duke Scaradine gave the players “squatting and looting” rights in exchange for successful delivery of his new astral peacock. Or anyone else who does them a favor might pay them this way. Or they heard this house was abandoned and the last owner was some rich old lady. Or they know all the gangs want this house and maybe they can ransom it to them if they get there first.

Random Encounters

1. 3d6 mini puppet folk scavenging for food, will pretend to be inanimate.

2. 2 mini puppet folk spies, will pretend to be inanimate but prefer to hide and see what the party is doing.

3. 2d6 mini puppet folk warriors, including grenadier detachment, here to rob the party’s food.

4. Rival adventurers. One of them got shot but they don’t know where from. 

5. Rival adventurers. They ALSO have a writ granting them looting and squatting rights to Goblin House.

6. 4 Coxenhammers gang members and 4 Skull Kids gang members about to duke it out.

1 ENTRANCE

• From outside: Shitty two-and-a-half story building. French door entrance. No windows on the first floor. Windows on the second floor but they’re boarded up. (Half-floor additional height implies an attic.)

• On the inside: Filthy. Graffiti from the various gangs of Moon City. At least 3 different gangs are trying to claim this as their turf. Can of spray paint.

2 MAIN HALL

• Fireplace. Disused. Scorch marks from teenage-party style fire pit in the middle of the room. Salvageable torches. (Hidden in the chimney is a secret passage to 11 attic.)

• Stairs up to 7 second floor hallway. They creak loudly when walked on.

• Keg of beer. An attached note says that it's an gift from the Coxenhammers to the Skull kids, meant as an apology for trashing their seance party. Pumps foul “beer” on the first pump. Explodes on the second pump. This is obvious with just a little bit of investigation, including tasting the foul beer.

3 PANTRY

• Locked wooden door. Small hole in the corner (see 4 first floor bedroom).

• Totally ransacked. A very thorough search reveals some salvageable rations.

• Hole in the ceiling to 9 South West Bedroom, rope hanging down

4 FIRST FLOOR BEDROOM

• Wooden door boarded shut from the outside. A small hole has been chewed in the bottom corner of the door. It looks like it was chewed by a rodent or something, but investigation reveals it was cut with a tiny woodcutters ax.

• Hideous platypus monster. Too fat and lethargic to fit out the door. Will try to eat anything that gets close. After eating, it lays an egg that will eventually hatch to reveal a miniature version of whatever it ate. The monsters stomach acid can be used to make a potion induces rapid growth.

• Floor covered in broken eggshells. Searching reveals a dagger styled like a tiny greatsword and a sack of tiny gold coins.

5 JUNK

• Completely full of junk (bricks, wood, scrap metal, etc). Floor to ceiling. Impossible to enter.

• Buried under all the junk is the door down to NN basement.

6 CLOSET

• Old overcoat with a red ribbon stuck in the pocket. Other old clothes. Motheaten but could make a passable upper class disguise.

7 SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY

• Doors to the NE, SW, and SE bedrooms. At the end of the hall there is a hole in the wall, like a cartoon mouse hole. Inspection reveals it's closed with a tiny portcullis made of nails. Within is a rat with a special grenadier detachment mini puppet folk gun strapped to it's back. (Single use 1d8, loud)

• Big painting of some old fashioned family to the NW. The child in the painting is wearing a red ribbon. (Secret: missing door where the NW bedroom should be implies existence of secret attic. Smashing through the wall is possible but there’s a layer of brick behind the plaster.)

8 NORTH-EAST BEDROOM

• Full of large jars. Perfect for smashing. Most contain toxic gas but one also contains a fossilized lost-mermaid-princess egg (treasure) and another a live lost-mermaid-princess egg. The princess in the egg can deliver hooks to the slime castle.

9 SOUTH-WEST BEDROOM

• Dollhouse under the bed. Home of the mini puppet folk. The’ll pretend to be inanimate if possible. (Lore: These were puppet folk squatters who got eaten by the platypus monster and reincarnated in tiny form. They can’t get out of the house because they’re much too small to open the door, pry the boards off the windows, etc.)

• Hole in the floor to 3 pantry, rope hanging down is tried off to bedframe

• Boarded up windows.

10 SOUTH-EAST BEDROOM

• Seance candles, salt circle, ready to go, just missing the final ingredient--something special to the person whose ghost you want to summon. If used with the red ribbon from 6 closet you can summon the ghost of the old women who owns the house. She knows a lot of rumors from being very old, of course. Or you could return with something special to someone else, from elsewhere.

• Boarded up windows.

11 ATTIC

• A whole fucking cannon. Way too heavy to move, and especially not without knocking out the bricked-over wall. It's aimed at a particular spot on the street (through a crack in the exterior wall); it would obliterate anyone who could be lured into that exact spot. Only two cannonballs.

Mini Puppet Folk

1 HP, very lo str, hi dex, nail-sword (1 damage)

• Special grenadier detachment also has a pebble-cannon (1d8 damage, once ever)

Rival Adventurers

“Rocky” -- HP 6, hi dex, lo cha, trident (1d8 bulky)

• Other items: cleansing water, sonic grenade

• Spells: Control stone, stoneskin

“Chef” -- Hp 9, lo str, hi int, hi cha, skewer (1d6)

• Other Items: fancy clothes, ghost pepper

• Abilities: Frenzy, Stew (rattlesnake)

D23: The Laughing Crypt

THE LAUGHING CRYPT

The Laughing Crypt is a mini dungeon in the Black Chapel district of Moon City. “It contains a wight--everyone knows that, and everyone knows to stay the fuck away.”

Hook

This is just one possibility. The party wanted to do some graverobbing at the cemetery, but every other grave is long since picked over. The same misfortune has befallen the graverobbers Dolbin and Pithgass, who suggest braving the laughing crypt. 

Random Encounters

None. There are no wandering monsters in the Laughing Crypt. Instead, every 3 rounds there is a 1:6 chance that the creepy laugher (audible from only some rooms, see below) causes a character stress. Stress can deal 1d6 nonlethal damage, or fill inventory slots, or whatever… just as long as it puts some time pressure on the party.

1 ENTRANCE

• Stone mausoleum. No door. Arch flanked by gargoyles with mouths wide open, laughing.

• Graffiti on the outside of the tomb warns that the wight will steal your very life force (level drain). Investigation reveals that it is covering up even older graffiti. The old stuff says you can get a boon if you give it your most valuable possession and then tell it a joke.

• S Stone steps down to 2 PORTCULLIS

2 PORTCULLIS

• More graffiti: “sorry, we tried to warn you”

• Wrought iron portcullis. No crank, must be lifted by hand. Bit of chain at the bottom where someone tried to lock it shut (the knights), but the lock has been cut by bolt cutters (dolbin and pithgass). Bits of burnt wood on the floor (investigation reveals they’re singed puppet folk fingers). The portcullis trapped: if you lift it a tiny bit it starts to feel warm, if you yank it hard it heats up as Heat Metal.

• E dark hallway to 4 MOSAICS, cobwebs recently disturbed

• W damp hallway to 3 WATERLOGGED

3 WATERLOGGED

• This room is partially caved in and mostly full of water. Under the water lurk some giant amphibious mosquitoes. Searching the water reveals a corpse: dagger with a gold ornamental sheath, soggy leather vest (+1 armor), and dynomite (2x remaining) in a watertight bag. Searching the water completely reveals a secret passage.

• E damp hallway to 2 PORTCULLIS

• Secret: narrow underwater tunnel SE to 7 HEAVY DOORS

Giant Amphibious Mosquito

As stirge or similar

4 MOSAICS

• Mosaics on the walls and ceiling depict a folk hero, the laughing knight, alternatively portrayed as a hero and jester. Everyone is laughing and having a good time.

• If they weren’t already encountered at the cemetery, the graverobbers dolbin and pithgass will be here. They’re disgruntled that they can’t get into the crypt and have decided to take a consolation prize. They’re prying up all the chips of the mosaic, planning on reassembling them elsewhere and selling it as an art piece. Pithgass in particular is having a rough time of it due to his burned hands. (Surprisingly, this scheme would work and count as a big treasure.) If the party look strong, they’ll offer them a cut of treasure if they can help lift the doors in 7 HEAVY DOORS.

• S hallway to 5 FACES, echoes of creepy laughter

• W hallway to 2 PORTCULLIS

Dolbin & Pithgass

3 hp, low int, low cha, shovel 1d6, wooden bodies*

* They sold their bodies and had their souls stuck in wooden puppets so that they’d be immune to the mundane plague running rampant in black chapel.

5 FACES

• Faces carved in-relief adorn the walls, a ton of them, like 36 per wall. Each face is unique. Each is contorted into a vision of laughter. (Inasmuch as they’re scary or grotesque, it's only because they’re frozen mid laugh; like when you pause a movie at the wrong moment.) Searching reveals one face that is trying to hold in it's laugh. If you tell it a joke, it’ll spit out a lump of raw gold.

• Creepy laughter can be heard. It is just a feint echo coming from deeper in but you can hear it through the stone. The laughter makes idle lingering very difficult. See RANDOM ENCOUNTERS..

• S stone door (good hinges, swings freely) to 6 OFFERINGS

• W hallway to 7 HEAVY DOORS

6 OFFERINGS

• Creepy laughter can be heard. See 5 FACES.

• Pile of assorted junk, mostly sorta conceivably valuable but not treasure. Searching through the pile for something good reveals a random item (1d6 below) and that the floor is a big stone face.

• Secret: the floor is a big stone face -- clearing out the pile of junk takes 3 rounds. If cleared, you can see that the floor face is scowling. If you tell it a joke, it’ll open it's mouth and reveal a secret passage

• N hallway to 5 FACES

• Secret: drop down to 8 WIGHT

Random item from the pile of junk // (3 times total, then it's cleared)

1. Human bone (1d6, fragile)

2. Worthless trinkets (tea set, bad art, etc)

3. Random tool (shovel, hammer, dagger, tongs, clothes) with a personal insignia

4. Random orthodox spell scroll (single use)

5. Gold locket, plain, picture of a young boy

6. The diary-fechtbuch of Sir Lovenball von Graft (big treasure)

7 HEAVY DOORS

• Creepy laughter can be heard. See 5 FACES. The laughter stops if you mess with the huge stone doors (see 8 WIGHT).

• Stone dais rising up in the center of the room. The rest is full of knee deep water. Searching under the water reveals a secret passage.

• Huge stone doors, set at an angle like a bulkhead. They take a combined [shit load] str to lift. They’ll slam shut unless wedged open somehow.

• S (beyond the huge stone doors), slippery-smooth stone stairs down to 8 WIGHT, chill wind

• E hallway to 5 FACES

• Secret: NW underwater tunnel to 3 WATERLOGGED

8 WIGHT

Depending on how the party enters:

• If via the stairs below 7 HEAVY DOORS…
  Silent. The creepy laughter is gone. Totally dark. Chilly air. Secret: The wight is waiting in the shadows, ready for an ambush (preferably after the hilarious firefly trap goes off). 

• Or by any other path (the secret passage from 6 OFFERINGS, tunneling through the wall, etc)...
  Loud creepy laughter. Dimly lit by giant fireflies buzzing around the ceiling. The wight is slashing its sword against the stone walls in a fit of violence and insane laughter (surprised).

• Stone coffin in the center of the room. The heavy lid is covered in a mosaic (big treasure). It depicts a folk hero, the laughing knight, as he is betrayed by his fellows. They are crying. He is laughing even as he dies. Pushing aside the heavy lid is possible. If the wight is lying in ambush, it causes a rush of giant fireflies to burst out (save vs blinded as a flashbang or light spell, otherwise harmless). The wight thinks this is hilarious and will spring his ambush if still hidden.

• The walls and stone coffin are all covered in scratch marks from the wight’s insane fits of laughter and violence. The ceiling is concave (the back side of the face from 6 OFFERINGS), the fact that it is a face is obscured by the nests of the fireflies. Telling it a joke to open the secret passage still works from this side.

• The wight is, of course, the laughing knight. He’ll cackle insane the entire time he fights. He has plate (+2 armor, 2 slots), a ring of beetle magic, and a ruined sword (1d6) Inside his stone coffin are 1d6 gold funeral trinkets

Wight, The Laughing Knight

18 hp, hi dex, sword 1d8, vitality drain (xp debt -or- 1d6 permanent stat damage -or- diminish the intensity of one aspect or goal), creepy laugh (cosmetic)

APPENDIX

Ring of Beetle Magic

You can cast Control Beetle(s), Speak with Beetles, and Transmute Willing Beetle to Fire. You do this by investing your own MD (which everyone has)... more on this some other time.

I'd use Control Water, Dendigraphy, and Explode Corpse as templates for adjudicating these spells. Anything roughly beetle-like counts (tunnel hulk yes, rust monster yes, paladin of the order of the beetle maybe, giant ant no). Monsters with HD get a save. Or maybe [sum] must be greater than their HDx3, I forget the exact wording.

WTF is up with this money calculation

Everything comes in 3s, including money. Money is roughly 1:1 with buying power (todo: find the link to this post). So 1d6 gold junk is ~3.5 gold junks is 10.5 purchases. Big treasure is entirely different.